So I went, tonight, to see the crisis counselors; I’m used to 45 minute therapy sessions, so three and a half hours was…strenuous to say the least. However, I am proud that I made it through the ENTIRE work day withOUT tears (Even if I DID cry the second I walked out that door!)
I have a lot of reading material to dive into, which is always a good thing for me. There IS still a 6 to 7 month wait for an individual therapist, so part of my action plan is to get on the waiting list (approximately 2 months) for the Skills group, which focuses on behavioral training and physiological methods of coping. I am also calling U of Phoenix to see if THEY can get me into the individualized program that starts in August. Whatever it takes.
While I’m waiting, since I need SOME sort of forward motion (in addition to continuing to work COURAGE TO HEAL–which I was warned is heavy-duty stuff: would’ve been nice to know that BEFORE I got most of the way through it!) I’m going to be going through some workshops at the Women’s Center:
- The Power of Your Belief System June 30
- A Woman’s Place is in Control July 7
- How to Cope with Painful Feelings July 14
- Developing Boundaries July 15
- Abuse: Beyond Perseverance July 19
- When Your Income Stops but Bills Don’t July 21
- Building a Balanced Life July 23
- Stop Any Assault Before it Happens August 21
They also want me to take the following workshops that are not offered during the current “season”
- The Profile of a Healthy Relationship
- Recognizing Abuse
- Improving the Way You Solve Problems in Relationships
- Sustaining Healthy Relationships (this one is an 8-week course)
Admittedly, that’s a lot of “coursework” on top of my self-directed stuff (they also want me to take a yoga course, primarily for the breathing exercises). Still, it gives me a place to focus, and I’m not going to turn my back on help as it’s offered.
I did learn at least ONE interesting thing that was completely new to me. Everyone has heard of “fight or flight”, but apparently, it’s actually “fight, flight, or freeze.” According to Janine, there is actually a part of the brain that can paralyze you in a stressful situation (Ergo those situations where someone TRIES to scream and can’t)…making it impossible to protect yourself. Again, something I need to read up on, along with other topics that were in the introductory reading material I was given today.
It feels like so much, but dammit, I’m READY.