Tomorrow may be the day when I start the forward motion again; I took several days off from COURAGE TO HEAL, processing stuff in my subconscious and finding some action steps to follow. Tonight, the intention was there, but the motivation was not. And I will NOT force myself, since that just leads to more pain, after all. Still, I am trying to be aware of when and why I don’t meet the goals that I set myself. I had genuinely thought that I would be through with COURAGE TO HEAL by now, but isn’t that just more of the setting myself up for failure by pushing myself too hard? Doesn’t that encourage me to have band-aid solutions and an ultimate form of self-denial?

Still, this is my plan: I do want, since I think I’m ready now, to finish COURAGE TO HEAL by the weekend. And then, silly as it may sound, I’m going to set a reminder for six weeks from now–to do the writing exercises (if not the reading) again, in a short period of time. And I’ll set myself time goals, making the “gap” a little longer each time. It will be a good reality check for me, I think, to re-visit and to see how far I’ve come in between days!

I may be looking at cars tomorrow; if so, I doubt I’ll get much done beyond that and continuing to follow up on my various phone calls. If not, then cleaning my room is a priority, so that Friday can also be dedicated to setting up new systems (and, yes, working my program. Ironically, setting up some of the systems that seem non-related IS part of all of this.) Saturday shall be a library day: I can’t find my library card right now, and am HOPING that some of the reading material that was suggested to me yesterday will be available.