It’s funny how the telephone is both the instrument of my greatest despairs and my greatest joys. Simple, short conversations in the past few days have begun to restore my equilibrium, releasing a fear that was new with all of the changes I’m going through.

I met with Valerie today, and unfortunately had a panic attack while I was in the lobby. She reviewed Anna’s ideas, made a few suggestions, and also gave me a lead on yet another possibility for free counseling (which I shall call on Monday). Anyway, here’s my schedule:

• July 12 8:30-4:30 Tools for Positive Living
• July 15 6:00-7:30 Developing Boundaries
• July 19 10:00-12:00 Abuse: Beyond Perseverance
• July 19 12:00-1:00 Re-assessment meeting with Valerie
• August 21 6:00-7:45 Stop Any Assault before it Happens (this one is actually my idea, not something Anna or Valerie suggested, although Valerie thinks it’s a great idea, since it is about the psychological aspects of self-defense.)

She still wants me to take the Creating Healthy Family Relationships series, Improving the Way You Solve Problems in Relationships, and the Sustaining Healthy Relationships 8-week course, but since they aren’t currently offered, it’s basically “as soon as they are.”

So, there it is. A couple of weeks more of self-directed discovery, an intensive week followed by re-assessment, and hopefully counseling starting up about two weeks after THAT. Forward motion.