Tuesday, Jul 29th, 2008 — You may be a bit scattered today and feel like you cannot get anything done. Everything changes, though, when a close friend engages you in a conversation. Even if you want to avoid admitting your lack of focus, it will be very helpful if you do. Once you begin talking about your frustration, it becomes clear what you must do next. Don’t delay getting started, for your concentration may not last too long.

Honestly, right now, my confusion level is off the charts. I’m trying so hard not to push others, but it happens, and then I wonder about the choices I’ve made and am making. As much as I have always wanted to be important to other people, I’m starting to realize how very threatening having an impact on someone else can be.

To wit, as much as it makes me feel good that some folks are opening up to me, it also hurts in a way, knowing that even though opening up is good for them–it hurts at the time, especially when they are not used to discussing their emotions. GOD, do I understand that! I’ve never been easy to care about. Hell, even I found it difficult to care about me, for far too many years. And, now, with the trajectory my life has taken, it gets even more difficult, since I am so committed to honesty and that does push other people sometimes.

It’s change; it’s growth. Am I the only one who remembers that when we all went through puberty, sometimes there was physical pain as our bodies adjusted? Sometimes, sadly, it’s the same when we begin to grow up emotionally.