Ok, fair enough. I’m hormonal, hypersensitive anyway, but I was chill about it, KNOWING these things. And I’ve been reassured. Everything’s groovy.

Yeah, I said “groovy”. That doesn’t make me a hippie!

I know that I should be sleeping. Even an hour makes a difference. Perhaps I will.
We’ll see.

So many things to do this weekend (the perpetual refrain!)

• Clean out car
• Get eyebrows waxed
• Process inbox
• Clean bedroom
• LAUNDRY

Obviously, processing the inbox is more of a project than one item, since it encompasses a lot of other things, as well.
I know that I should be asleep. I should. But I’m not. I’ll wait just a little longer to see if the phone rings before I crash. Granted, if I crash, that’s nearly a guarantee that the phone WILL ring.

(12:31:57) balefulcoho WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO YELL AT ME?!
(12:32:15) calexxia Pardon? Do I even KNoW you?
(12:32:33) balefulcoho You’re the one starting the conversation.
(12:32:51) calexxia Ok, it’s one of those stupid bot things like the hat. Got it.
(12:33:10) balefulcoho No, I’m real.
(12:33:21) balefulcoho But you’re weird.
(12:33:37) calexxia I didn’t start a conversation with you, and I have no clue who you are. *shrug*
(12:34:02) balefulcoho You just told me I was doing Science in your pants… weirdo.
(12:34:02) balefulcoho You just told me I was doing Science in your pants… weirdo.
(12:34:26) calexxia Fraid I didn’t. I’m convinced this is another of those odd things like the “I say, old bean, have you seen my hat?”
(12:34:42) balefulcoho I have no idea what you are talking about.
(12:34:52) calexxia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TheGreatHatsby
(12:34:57) balefulcoho Ok.
(12:35:05) balefulcoho Not really interested.
(12:35:24) calexxia Just trying to show you that, NO, I did not contact you, thus my confusion at first.
(12:35:35) balefulcoho Mine also.
(12:36:04) balefulcoho Stay safe, good night.
(12:36:08) calexxia you as well
(12:39:10) balefulcoho You were correct. I read about it. I was using Twitter. Sorry about all this.
(12:39:19) calexxia No problem!

Ok, so the folks who were thrown out are back inside; still, it’s bullshit.

And, amusingly, when I came back upstairs, Fuzzy had apparently at some point snuck in here and was sleeping in my closet. Hey, I’m USED to BlackCat doing that….not so much Fuzzy. I have to laugh!

While waiting further updates, I’m piddling around on the computer (big shock, no?) and just managed to get the LJ crossposter to work, so those folks who had been bitching at me about not posting to LJ can now be treated to my ramblings again. Not so sure that’s a TREAT, but….

Also, I re-read SNAKE HIPS. It amazes me how many parallels there are between myself and Anne, just as a general statement. Plus, I love the way she expresses herself. Sure, NERD GIRL is the book of hers that would appeal to more of my friends, but SNAKE HIPS is one of the best memoirs I’ve ever read.

Oh, randomness–I almost cried, reading the letter Ted Hughes wrote to Aurelia Plath after Sylvia’s death. Amazing that it has been ten years since he died and 45 since SHE did.

And I just got “Salmon-botted”….Good thing I was already familiar with TheGreatHatsby!

Today, while I was out trying desperately to find clothes that I could use for next week’s various costume events at work and casually browsing the children’s books, I started thinking about how one of the groovy things about living here is that I had rather missed being “Miss Marie”. I LIKE having a positive impact on kids. But I wonder, sometimes, now that I’ve been out of the educational field so long (and was only tangentially in it, before), if children really have changed that much.

I remember, as if it were yesterday, Nancy’s disgust at the fact that her class literally had no concept of imagination. One of the things she had done EVERY year before Nichole’s year was “A field trip to the North Pole in our imaginations”, keyed to POLAR EXPRESS, right? That’s the sorta thing that with the right kinda kids, actually does make a memory. Not that year’s crop of first graders. Literally, over half of the children started crying and there were parental COMPLAINTS about the kids being traumatized. How fucked up was THAT?

I wonder if she’s still teaching. Hell, I wonder if Leslie ever went back to teaching. Had I chosen to continue in the field, I would have loved to have had her as a mentor. She and I “got” one another mentally.

My life, however, proceeds in its slothful pace. I only have Sunday off, then not again till Wednesday. The transitioning of schedules is truly irritating, and me being hormonal and potentially oversensitive to perceived slights isn’t helping! Trust. Believe. Have Faith. These are things much more easily said than done, sometimes.

Several of the Sludge folks are at the FiFi LaRue gig in Santa Monica. I have to laugh at the fact that there are as many people (including Jim) on the “Do not let in club” list as there probably are who were willing to pay to get in. I can honestly say that I am NOT sad that I’ve never seen FiFi live. Seriously, I’d rather douche with battery acid and masturbate with a cheese grater (simultaneously). I do hope everyone’s having fun, at least. A lot of people I enjoy are there, apparently (well, “a lot” might be an overstate, but more than two, I’ll put it THAT way!)

Ok, wow…. a couple of the folks you’d expect to get thrown out of the gig are still inside, while people who’ve been supportive HAVE been thrown out. W-T-F?

Doing ok with my spending today: made a car payment ($315), paid rent/utilities ($450), ordered a pair of really cute drawers and a Sun Studio T-shirt ($8–total score, due to a Hot Topic discount code, cuz that total includes shipping), bought a skirt and t-shirt (.50) and some books for a gal I know ($1.50 for like five books), two packs of cigarettes and a pop ($12), as well as a pop and a bag of pretzels this morning ($3). Not bad at all. I have groceries, and 3/4 a tank of gas, so maybe tomorrow’s spending shall be even “better”.

At least we won’t be taking calls today, since it’ll be a day of meetings and more. LOL

Still, I’m tired, kind of drained right now. I’m debating whether I should have a quick half hour nap before I get ready for work or whether it’s better to just start plugging away now. Today’s agenda is a very simple one: Pay my bills and clean out the car. Everything else is extraneous.

Yesterday was good, but by no means easy.

We had our little graduation thingie at work, and I did score slightly lower on the re-take of the final than I had on the original test, but my trainers agreed that the higher score would be the one they kept (everyone else in the class had “timed out” while taking the original exam, but since I was already finished, I was miffed that I was required to do the re-take with them.) I’m not going to be under the supervisor with whom I was originally scheduled, but there was apparently some drama of which I don’t know the details. Still, the gal I’m under pretty much rocks, so we’ll see how it goes!

Went to the old house last night. It was good, but hard. RQ has finally seen Kelly’s true colors, and I wish I was surprised by that, but I just wasn’t. She and I had a good, LONG talk, and we’ve straightened out a lot of things between us. She is going to take Gilby to Oregon, after all, and from there, is going to take it one step at a time. She understands now why I had to leave, and …we’re good. Seriously.

I felt like kind of a tool while I was there, though, because since I WAS there, I was going through all the cabinets and stuff, looking for things I had forgotten when I packed–I did find a few (my Elvis mug!) and loaded up on groceries that would’ve otherwise gone bad, plus she had me take her TV set, since she won’t need it, and it’s way bigger than the one that Joe had given me. She also understands why I’m happy to get rid of the one Joe had given me (on general principle). Neither of us cried, because we both knew it was the right thing, even though it’s been a really weird chain of events. I can’t say I’m not worried about her driving to Oregon alone, because 19 hours is a LONG time, but I’m sure I’ll hear from her en route.

Seeing Gilby was tough, too. He hasn’t been eating much since I left, and he was so quick to bring me the one toy that he found that was in good condition. We played for an hour while RQ and I talked (and we talked for like four hours). I love that dog, can’t lie! Still, Oregon will be a good place for him and I’m sure once Bella adjusts to him, it’ll be good for both of them. I just got a text from RQ, and she’s ok so far. I know she will be, but hey, worrying is what I DO.

So, yeah, a page is turned. No more “Flowers in the Attic.” Just like there was a point this summer when I decided to stop painting myself as a victim, even to myself. There were a lot of things in the past couple years that I’d give a “do over”, but everything happens for a reason, and I can’t help but believe that this is forward motion for everyone I care about, even if it was kinda fucked up how it all came about.

Goddamn Helen Reddy song stuck in my head. This doesn’t bode well! LOL

Ok, so here’s the scoop: I have ONE HOUR to do as much as I can in here. I’m going to set a timer, and see just how far I can get. Bet it’ll be pretty far, honestly! I do need to gather up some things of Crystal’s that are in here, so that they’re in one clump to be returned, now that I have mostly my own household belongings.

I’ll be ok IF the phone can go ONE HOUR without ringing!

ETA: Fuck me if I didn’t just dick around for 45 minutes! Dammit all to hell!

Tomorrow, there are quite a few things I must accomplish. Tonight, however, since I am dazed from the sugar in my half-serving of Phauxberry (as mentioned yesterday), I am only focusing on studying and relaxing. At least I replaced the batteries in the shower cleaner. The bathroom is pretty mellow, though I probably should scrub the toilet and take out the trash. Just off of the top of my head, tomorrow, I need to:

• Mail Mom’s package
• Pick up SNAKE HIPS at the Chandler Library (may as well drop off any other books that I have from there)
• Go see the chiropractor
• Call my GP to set up an appointment to discuss my bloodwork

I have to get to bed fairly early, since we have our final exam tomorrow. They took a few folks into a private room today to explain to them that they would be receiving “additional training” before being allowed to go to transition. THANKFULLY, I wasn’t one of those. Hell, who am I kidding? I’m the fuckin’ superstar of that class, only POSSIBLY outshone by the girl who HAS WORKED THERE FOR THREE YEARS! and is thus not a fair comparison.

Such a drag to want something sometime
One thing leads to another I know
Was a time wanted you for mine
Nobody knew
You arrived like a day
And passed like a cloud
I made a wish, I said it out loud
Out loud in a crowd
Everybody heard
twas the talk of the town

Its not my place to know what you feel
Id like to know but why should i?
Who were you then, who are you now?
Common labourer by night, by day highbrow
Back in my room I wonder, then i
Sit on the bed, look at the sky
Up in the sky
Clouds rearrange
Like the talk of the town

Maybe tomorrow, maybe someday
Maybe tomorrow, maybe someday
Youve changed your place in this world
Youve changed your place in this world

Oh but its hard to live by the rules
I never could and still never do
The rules and such never bothered you
You call the shots and they follow
I watch you still from a distance then go
Back to my room, you never know
I want you, I want you but now
Whos the talk of the town?